Sports Pet Peeves

Being a man in my mid thirties, I came of age in the era of Seinfeld. Therefore, I am well versed in finding annoyances in the routines of everyday life. Being a sports fan, I have gathered a collection of these agitating behaviors that can be found almost everywhere games are played.

They are in no particular order, rather they stand as a collective. And now, they are on display for you too. After all, misery sure does love her company.

1) Guy wearing headphones at the game: Hey. Buddy. You're at the game! The person your listening to is describing what you're seeing for people who would like to be where you are, but aren't. If you're at a game and still need someone to explain what you are looking at, you shouldn't be there. Please give your seat up to someone who can watch without an interpreter. Thanks.

2) Guy who yells at officials: Despite popular belief, your yelling from the nosebleeds really won't sway the men in stripes. Your berating of referees/umpires are falling on deaf ears. Actually they're falling on my ears, which are ringing now. Sit down and shut up.

3) Harassing fans of the road team: I know what you're thinking. "But they came into our house. We can't have that happen." Well, then maybe your team's fans should have bought more tickets. Besides I'm not talking about good-natured ribbing. That's to be expected. I'm talking about berating, throwing things, and trying to start a fight with someone who just wanted to take a trip and see their team in a different venue. Your city thanks you for giving them a black eye because of your idiocy. Yes, I'm talking to you Eagles fans!

4) Tucking in/ Blousing a jersey: Everyne knows you don't have the physique of the namesake stitched onto the back of your jersey. But this "fashion statement" goes well beyond hiding that pot belly. It's a jersey! If it was supposed to be tucked in, it would be called a dress shirt! Untuck, grab a beer, and start enjoying life!

5) Grown Men who Bring Gloves to a baseball game: Seriously? You're 45. Odds are your "cat-like" reflexes have probably diminished to the point where you can't even react to that hard hit ball. If a ball is hit into your section, just duck and let the kids have a shot at it. Which brings me to my next pet peeve...

6) Grown man who "fights" a child for a Baseball: You are the absolute lowest form of sports fan. Not only should you be kicked out of the game. You should just be kicked. What if someone did that to your kid. Oh, wait, you don't have any. That's why you're hear fighting my kid for a baseball.

7) Face Painters: Warriors used face paint to strike fear into their foes. Who are you trying to scare, the attractive woman in the third row? Well, you did it. Mission accomplished chief!

8) Fans who use "We" when referencing their team: I'm sorry, I didn't see your name in the media guide. What year were you drafted? Sorry to ruin your dream of playing Center Field for the New York Yankees, but you didn't make it. THEY play baseball. YOU watch, like the rest of us.

9) "Pink" Sportswear for the ladies: Disclaimer- If it is for Breast Cancer Awareness, I'm all for it. However, if it's a fashion statement your trying to make. I don't approve. Sports is about rooting for a team, not looking cute. You're a fan of the Packers, but yellow and green don't bring out your eyes? Too bad, be a fan and where your team's colors!

10) Guy who stands up every time puck passes blue line at a hockey game: This is an offense more visible to TV viewers. We get it. You are at the game & now you're on TV too. Good for you. Now sit down so the adults can watch the game. Thanks. This also applies to the guy on his cell phone behind home plate. What do you want me to do, wave back? Have a little class. Those seats are expensive. Act like you've been there before.


Note: This post is written VERY tongue in cheek. In no way is it meant to offend anyone. We all need to be able to laugh at ourselves. And more importantly, at others.

-Mike Tursi